How to buy your way to heaven

Juggling work, friends, living in London and blogging is pretty hard, sometimes impossible. If you're also trying to be a good, ethical person, socially and environmentally responsible, your life might become a nightmare. I have been trying for a while now, and I don't even have a proper job!

So far I have:

switched to an ethical bank, closing down my previous account with an evil, arms trading, child smuggling financial institution that I had inherited from my deeply corrupt family (er... mum, if you're reading, I am joking, capisc?);

established a highly-sophisticated recycling system in my home, ensuring cans, plastic, glass, paper and kittens all get piled up in a corner until they become a security threat and get taken to the appropriate bins down the road;

had my water supplier send me one of those funny plastic bags that you instal into your toilet flush to save water, and generally followed every step to reduce water consumption in the house;

cut down my supermarket visits and increased my visits to London markets and small suppliers;

taken up cycling (er... ok, this was 6 years ago, but it still counts!)

cleaned my terrace and bought some bamboo (ok, this might not be ethical per se, but it looks nicer now, and we can have barbecues outside when summer... er... arrives.

Yet, when I think of it, there are still hundreds of things I should be doing, from switching to environmentally-friendly energy providers, to insulating my house properly, to changing all light-bulbs to energy-efficient ones... At the end of the spectrum, I could be installing solar panels, becoming 100% sustainable in my energy consumption. And I could be mentoring young kids from my 'hood (damn, do they need it!). And these are just the first things that spring to mind. At the end of the day, if I were to change my entire existence to become really socially and environmentally responsible, I'd need a 48-hour day. Or I should get rid of all my friends and live in solitary confinement in my ecological paradise.

Yes, because each and every of these little changes take forever. Motivation, planning, organisation, motivation, more planning, execution, motivation, further execution... until it becomes routine. Apart from the financial costs - not always irrelevant - the amount of time and energy one spends trying to change the course of the cruise-liner is immense. I find myself at the end of the day simply exhausted at the idea of further changes. The idea of reading another eco-warring website makes me weep, a mixed feeling of guilt for what I have not accomplished yet and terror for what I still have to do.

Is it just me, or is becoming a good 21st century urban hippy a real nightmare?

I have become convinced that there are hundreds, thousands of people out there who, given the chance, would embrace this lifestyle, but simply don't have the time and motivation to get it done. These ethical/environmental choices don't fall into your lap. You need to hunt them down, understand them, embrace them. It's a physical and mental effort this society has not trained us for. Yes of course this perspective will piss off the ultra-purists, the evangelical do-gooders who are up at 8 am on Sundays and get all things done. But I like to drink. And smoke. And get up late. And I still have a conscience. Am I a freak? No. I think I am closer to the majority of the world. Which is why the world is so fucked up.

So here comes my idea. If you can't be arsed to turn your capitalist existence into an shrine to environmentalism and ethical living, why not pay someone to do it for you?

Think of it. You basically pay someone a fixed sum - say £150 - so that they can come to your house, pick up the phone and get the basics done for you: switch suppliers, buy recycling bins, fit energy-efficient bulbs, call the insulating company to fix the windows and so on. You could even have different packages, with the Gold one at the top: at the end of 2 weeks you have solar panels on your roof, organic food suppliers visiting you every week at a time that suits you, ethical investment funds for your savings' account and you can even get a priest to bless the house (ok, I got carried away, forget the priest...).

Maybe you won't buy your way to heaven straight away, but it's a start. Most importantly, it's really about helping you jump that first hurdle. Once the ice is broken, it's a downhill ride. And in a city like London, so socially and environmentally irresponsible when compared to other European cities, but so clued up on how to use marketing techniques to promote social change, isn't paying someone so that you can have a clean conscience the idea that's just waiting to be invented?