Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

20 August, 2007

The End of the World...

... is nigh

13 May, 2007

Kids...

Possibly the funniest commercial ever. I cried when I saw it...

30 April, 2007

Double entendre


Courtesy of Ms Tots, here are 12 of the finest (unintentional) Double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio.
  1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
  2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
  3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
  4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
  5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"
  6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
  7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
  8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."
  9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
  10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
  11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
  12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

18 March, 2007

He said. She said.

He said . . . I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don’t you?

He said . . ….. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That’s a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . … What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . ….. Why don’t you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you’re never there.

He said . ….. Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
She said . . They don’t have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . We don’t know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking?
She said . . . They already have boyfriends.

She said…What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.